Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
