sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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