Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
