yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
