I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
