Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize