My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm too high and old for this...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize