I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
