You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
