I hate all girls vehemently.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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