My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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