You work out of a Hotel?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
