i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
