So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
