My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
