i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize