You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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