I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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