Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
