i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
