you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it because I queefed?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
