I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
