Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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