it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
