My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
