apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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