I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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