oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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