Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
