...so i touched it.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
