i just google imaged poop.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
