I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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