john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
