genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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