There is no way he is gay with that hair.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
