Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
