I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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