We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
