This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
As shirtless as possible
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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