I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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