I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
