YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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