well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
