Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
