white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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