just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
