she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
