I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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