Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
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