dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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