They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize