This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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