His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A+ Viking dick
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize