Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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