it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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