All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
