I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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