small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
