how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
