so let's talk penis.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
