Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
